Drunk Dialing and Fills

Okay so I've decided they should patent a type of phone where you have to blow into a breathalizer thingy before you're allowed to dial. Thank God though that I only called my ex who just thinks it's funny when I call him and I'm drunk. I could have called the new guy whose number I only got yesterday and haven't even used yet!!!

Anyways I'm in NYC right now...I'm about 12 hours from getting a fill and I'm freaking a little...hence the drunkness. I think I'm freaking because I'm worried that my doctor will be upset that I haven't lost any since he saw me last. And I'm worried because alot of people are counting on this working for me and I'm worried that I'll somehow screw it up and it won't work like the last fill and I'll let everyone down.

Well we see how all goes in a little while. I'll try and remember to write an entry about how the doctors appointment goes. My trip so far has been nice...we on a sightseeing bus trip again and went and saw Avenue Q which was hilarious...but puppets should not be abused in such ways!!! Hope all is going well with everyone in cyberland.

Exercise and Magicians

This is Brian Brushwood. He's a magician and comedian, and obviously a fire-eater. We went and saw him up at Britt's college today...he was HILARIOUS!!!! I highly suggest anyone go see him (maybe not take little kids....who wants their child to see a man put a nail through their nose...I couldn't even watch it.) He starts the show making everyone put up their right hand and follow after him in a disclaimer : I...Will Never...Ever...Try Any....Of This....At Home.....Unless...There's Lots....Of Money Involved :o) There's a part later on when he sticks a skewer through his tongue and then cuts part of it off. Afterwords he said "Someone told me backstage that their are some professors here tonight who brought their kids, well kids when you cut your tongue off at home.......it magically grows back....try it out it's awesome." He's too damn funny...and cute as hell too.

Okay so for Weight Watchers news....I've walked at least a mile Tues, Wed, and today. I walk up past my Aunt's house and then stop at her house and hang with the kids, and then either loop back up to the hill or head home. I ache bad at night...especially my ankle. But I really enjoy the walks and so does Rileigh...she gets so excited when her halter is put on! She won't settle down until we go. I've been doing pretty good at eating, although we did eat dinner out tonight, but I ate less than I usually would have. Other than that and the occasional bag of M&Ms I've been doing really well and it shows on the scale.

I got in my Amazon order yesterday, I was so happy, I wasn't really expecting them until Friday. I got "Weight Loss Surgery with the Adjustable Gastric Band: Everything you need to know before and after surgery to lose weight successfully" and a book by Khalia Ali who had the Band, and a book about Hugh Laurie (okay so that's not educational...but he's HOT). So anyways that's pretty much what I've been up to lately...I"ve had the last 2 days off so there's not a whole lot to report. More later or another day. :o)

Piercing, Appointments, and Work

Well boy did I do a number on myself today!!! So I have a few body piercings (just a couple really :oP) I have my nose , my labret , my belly button, and my tragus (the sticky out thing in your ear) all pierced, and 3 holes in each of my ears. Well this morning I was shopping at Wal-Mart and saw a cool belly button ring that I wanted to try out. It's one of those ones that you have to pinch close and have a stone pinched in between the ring. Well I go home and I get out the pliers and push open the ring enough to pull out the stone then I try and put the ring in my belly button...well being that guy who did my piercing sucks, and my piercing is too deep, I needed to open the space in the ring more, which I did with pliers and the ring went right in no problem. Well now I need to close the ring just enough to fit the stone inside. So first two times trying to close it went just fine...it closed up a little each time. Let's just say third time was not the charm this time. One side of the pliers slipped between the space in the ring and I ended up pinching my skin against the ring...took a right nice chunk out of it too...damn that hurt...bleed quite a bit too...glad my tetanus shot is up to date. I managed to try again (very carefully) to pinch the ring shut and was able to get the stone in...so now it's all good...achy but good...it looks nice...I think I'll like it.

So the appointments went well yesterday. My PT was about 15 minutes or so...she had me put my foot in a whirlpool tub and do flexing against the jets, then she had me take it out and show her the range of movement. I have to go back Thursday and Friday and we're gonna do strengthening exercises. She was fine with me going back to work. (Damn! Double Damn since I got a second disability check, I thought the first one was the only one I was getting...turns out I was making near what I was at work!!) Rileigh's appointment went well too. Thank You Aunt Lynn for the pee collection help!! It was too funny...A.L. took Ri out to pee and she sniffed around a while and then squatted at which point A.L. put the little Tupperware thing under her, Ri looks at her like "Do I know you???" and pretty much cut it off...but we got enough for the test. The vet said it looked fine, no blood or anything. She said Rileigh may be "leaking" which is common for spayed females or that she might have a UTI or a Bladder Infection. So we got meds for both of those, if it's the leaking then she may have to always be on that med, but Britt says it was like a whole bladders worth of pee...I didn't see it so I don't know. She threw up the first set of pills...Britt put it in natural chunky peanut butter...we think that's the prob...she took them just fine in wet dog food this morning. She's just the funniest character...the dog I had growing up used to eat around the pill, not Rileigh...she went for the pill first...little weirdo. But anyways, we'll see how things go on these meds.

So I went back to work last night...yup...it sucks as much as I remember. I can't stand the person I work with....I try to be nice to him and talk to him and basically get grunts back. He didn't even say he was sorry to hear about my mom when I got back from the time I took off when she passed away...I said I was sorry to hear when his wife miscarried. He didn't even ask me how my ankle was, and at one point last night I went "ow, ow, ouch, ow" cuz I put too much weight on my ankle and it hurt...a nice person would have asked if the other person was okay...but NO!! Then later I heard him on the phone, I was in the office doing some cleaning when he got the call, and he was talking to one of our co-workers and I heard him go (in the most sarcastic voice ever) "It was the awesomest, just like nothing had changed" obviously talking about working with me again after 5 weeks...scumbag!!! ARGH!!! Sometimes people drive me nuts...I'm very much a people pleaser type person, I hate confrontation, I hate uncomfortableness, I like being friends with everyone, so I hate these kind of work situations...boy do I miss some of my past co-workers...I'd take the guy who slept all night over this guy! Well anyways enough time wasted ranting about jerks. Work, otherwise, went well and the 2 guys who relieved us came in and said "Hey, nice to see ya stranger, how's the ankle", and otherwise harassed me like they normally, jokingly do. The only thing that sucked (other than my co-worker) was doing perimeter checks...it was kind of painful walking on the uneven ground behind the house. By the end of the night between the 4 perimeter checks, and 8 room checks, and cleaning my ankle was very sore. But then I went to Wal-Mart, bought Juno and a cool belly button ring, came home and put a new hole in my body practically, but at least I now get to snuggle up with a sweet beagle and go to sleep!!!

Eating and Insurance

So I've been a very bad bad girl the past few days. I had pizza Saturday and Sunday night. I think it was mostly the convenience of it. Saturday I called my dad up, he owed me some money, and invited him to come up and watch a movie and bring pizza...very easy, no thought, no trying to stand and cook on my newly sprung leg. Last night I was doing taxes and didn't really have time to try and cook something, so it was real easy for me to just have Britt and Bri bring home some pizza when they got back from Wal-Mart.

The thing is...the pizza from Saturday wasn't even that good....WAY TOO MUCH CHEESE!!! But I ate like 5 pieces of it anyways....why do we do that to ourselves...at one point I almost gagged because it was so much cheese...but I finished it anyways...why??? What makes us have to finish it? It's like I wouldn't have been able to sleep knowing it was out there. That's the problem I had last week with the granola bars...they like invaded my psyche...I knew they were there...I couldn't contain myself until they were gone. I hope this stops when I get my fill or I just don't know what I'll do. I need to stop eating before I've gorged myself until I'm near to puking. There has to be something wrong with people like me...normal people don't do that kind of stuff...they can push away the plate when they are full. It's messed up!

On a completely separate note...I hate my secondary insurance!!! I get health care from my reservation and they will sometimes refer me out to services they don't provide...like my orthopedic doctor for my leg (they wouldn't refer me out for my Lap Band though...I have to pick up the rest of that myself...because of course that's not something overweight people actually need) . Well Friday when I got the cast off the doctor sent me over to Physical Therapy to set up an appointment, so when I was done there I called the Referral B**** and told her I had an appointment Monday at 2:30 and I need a referral. I've been looking forward to this all weekend because my leg is very sore. Well I called this morning to see if my referral was all ready, and of course she didn't answer...like normal...and she called me back at around 9am. Well apparently I have to have papers brought in and have the PT approved before they will pay for it so she's gonna call PT and have it rescheduled!!! WHAT!!! She said I could go today but there's no guarantee that they'll pay for it...and she's gonna call and tell them that!!! ARGH!!! Well I need to see the PT chick today, my leg is hurting...I have to limp around and if my weight gets mostly put on my bad leg it feels like it's breaking all over again. So I hope they end up coming through or I know where part of my tax refund is going to. Speaking of taxes...I love that free turbotax thing...incredibly easy!!

So today is doctor day for the family. I have my PT at 2:30 and Miss Rileigh Pisser has a vet appointment at 11am. She peed on the living room couch about a week ago, and peed on the entertainment room couch on Friday...this is NOT at all normal for her...she'll pee on the floor no problem if she doesn't get taken out but she hasn't peed on furniture since she was a baby and peed in my bed. So now I get to figure out how to get a urine sample from a beagle!! Well once again Thank God for Aunt Lynn...I'm gonna go over there and she's gonna help me out...she's uniquely qualified...she got a sample from my dachshund years ago for us. So hopefully all turns out well for both of us and I'll be going back to work tonight (I 50/50 hope to be back to work and hope for more time off). So I'll write more later or tomorrow on how the appointments go. Wish us luck!

Weight Watchers

So Weight Watchers yesterday went about how I figured it would go. I was up 1.6 pounds...but what really sucks is that at home I was 3 pounds less than that!!! That's so annoying...some weeks they are within half a pound of each other, other weeks there is a 3 pound difference. Also I'm starting back to work this week so the scale will probably be messed up. When I work midnights the night before weigh-ins I always weigh higher than when I've slept the night before. It's weird I know but I've come home from work, weighed, gone to bed, woke up, weighed and there is a 3 - 5 pound difference!!!

My cousin does WW with me...she's actually how I got started...she said she was gonna join and said how fun it would be if we did it together so I joined with her. Anyways...she had a bad week too, she was up 1.4 pounds. By the way...it's never good to miss a meeting...I had to miss last weeks because of a funeral I had to go to, and my cousin had missed 2 weeks in a row. But back to the point...D has decided we need to challenge each other...so we have to try to lose 5 pounds each this week and do 5 days of exercise!!! I'm excited. I'm kinda holding off on the exercise until after I see the Physical Therapist on Monday and see if I have any restrictions but after that it's on. I'll finally be able to use my Richard Simmons DVDs and I bought Rileigh girl a new harness, and one of those retractable leashes, I got 2lb weights for my arms and legs and we're gonna do some walking. I was getting really good at exercising right before the break, I was up to 7 days a week...I was doing my Richard Simmons DVD everyday.

I'm looking forward to my NYC trip...I want to be down 14 pounds more by then...so I'll have atleast lost 10 pound since I saw him in August. I have a new book coming in this week about Lap Band it's by Robert Sewell: Weight Loss Surgery with the Adjustable Gastric Band: Everything You Need to Know Before and After Surgery to Lose Weight Successfully. I also am getting Khalia Ali's book about her Lap Band. So I can't wait for those to come in.

Well I think I'm gonna call it a night...I'll make sure and write a sort of review of those books once I've read them. I now have to kick a beagle out of my place on the bed...she's laying all the way across it...bed hog!!! Night all, post more later.

Health Insurance vs. Medicaid

So I'm broken no more apparently. I got the cast off today (Thank God!). Good thing my extra boot was still in the truck because after 5 weeks of only needing one boot and one sock I totally forgot about it and didn't bring anything with me to the doctors, so after my appointment I was walking around with one sock but two boots!!! But let me tell you what...this thing still hurts like a mother!!! I put my boot on earlier today and I thought I was gonna pass out it hurt so bad, same whenever the majority of my weight ends up on that leg. I start PT on Monday so hopefully that will help. I'm trying to decide if I'm gonna take some pain meds because it's aching my head off.

Let me tell you...there is a world of difference in the treatment you get when you have regular health insurance and when you have Medicaid. Medicaid patients are truly second class citizens. About 4 years ago I was living at home helping my mother take care of my grandmother who was suffering from Parkinson's Disease and Alzheimers, and I had no job other than that and had no health insurance other than Medicaid. I broke my leg one day in the summer and had to get a cast. Well I went to the same doctor this time as I did last time. 4 years ago I got a cast and was told to come back in 6 weeks to get it taken off. I came back 6 weeks later, had it taken off, and went on my way. This time I break it and I have health insurance through my job...well ladeda...you would think I was royalty. I had to come back and have x-rays at 1 wk, 3 wk, then back to get the cast off at 5 wks, and am to start PT Monday and see the doctor again in 4 wks. So now that I have health insurance my broken bone is more broken then it was last time somehow even though it's the same exact break as last time??? This is disgusting as far as I'm concerned...as if I'm suddenly a different person and more worth being treated because my insurance will pay most of the ridiculous costs....let's make sure we can get the most billing out of this as possible. It's sad that this is the kinda world we live in. Let's make sure that the poor and needy and probably most desperate for healthcare get the least amount legally possible, and the worst doctors available, while the ones with insurance get more services then they probably need just so the doctors get the payout. Sickening.

Well anyways that's my rant for now. I have other rants I could get into about America but I'll avoid that for today other than to say since I'm Native American whether I live on the reservation or not I should get my tax exemption whether I live on the reservation or not!!! Grrr. Well I better not get started. Weight Watchers this morning...I'll post later on how that went. Goodnight all.

Broken but still good

Well hopefully in a matter of hours I'll no longer look like this guy up above. That's right...Doctor's appointment today and he should be removing the cast. I never thought I'd say this before but I can't wait to work out!!! It's less than 4 weeks until I go to NY and I'd really like to lose another 10 pounds.

I was glad I posted on Yahoo Groups last night about feeling restriction with a fill. I have a 10 (cc?) band and the doctor put in 4 (cc?) last time and I felt no restriction...I can eat pretty much anything I want. I feel better now though...a couple of people on that group wrote back and said it takes 3 or 4 fills until you're good and restricted and that they felt the same way as I did.

So doctor's tomorrow and Weight Watcher Saturday...if I don't have my cast off I will have to do some facing the music as I'm definately up a couple pounds. If my cast comes off..I should stay around the same...maybe be down a little. We shall see. I'm just looking forward to getting my 25 pound sticker soon.

Well that's it for tonight I have to get up real early to get ready for my appointment...not easy to take a bath with a leg cast I have to tell ya!! I'll post more after my appointment.

Okay Let's Try This Again

Okay so I'm gonna try and be better about this whole blogging thing. Life's been so crazy lately but it's finally starting to calm down a bit.

So....about 5 weeks ago...my very talented self....broke my damn leg! I was walking out to my car and the snow shifted beneath the outside of my right foot and my ankle twisted in pulling part of the bone away from the leg. This is the second time I've done this...same spot...same leg. Well it hurts alot more this time let me tell you what! What really sucks is now I can't exercise very easily. To add insult to injury, about 5 days after the break...my new 5 pack of Richard Simmons DVDs came in!!!

I've been keeping up with my Weight Watchers and I've lost almost 20 pounds now. I'm going down to NYC to get my second fill on May 8th. Hopefully I can keep the stress level down now (don't know anything that could be more stressful then the last 8 months), and the fill will do wonders for me. I'm just so sick of being fat. Not to mention I have to look hot in a maid of honor gown in 7 months.

Only other thing going on right now is the major room renovations. I've finally decided, I'm too damn old, to be so damn messy. I bought 3 bookcases and a new desk (although I exchanged it for Britt's old desk) and have been hard at work on my bedroom. I also brought in the bureau I've had out in the garage for about 3 years and put that together. My bedroom is looking really good, all the furniture is constructed and arranged, now all I'm down to is the nitty gritty stuff, going through all the little crap I have and organizing it.

All I can say is Thank God for my Aunt Lynn!!! Jeeze Louise can that woman clean. I never would have been able to get everything so perfect without her. About a week or so ago she came up and helped me put together the first of the bookcases and the new desk, move stuff around, and start the organizing. I put together the second bookcase and organized some of that, and put together the bureau. Then yesterday she came up and helped Britt and I go through Mom's old room (now the entertainment room), and she helped me get the bureau in here and get my TV all set up.

Man is it ever hard having to go through someone's room when they've passed away. It was an emotional time for all 3 of us. Not only had that been my mother's room, but it was her and my grandmother's room before that, and my grandmother and grandfather's room before that. There was two generations of stuff to go through, all sad, and nostalga inducing. All 3 of had a breakdown at one point or another, I don't remember Brittany's but I started crying when I was holding one of my mother's nightgowns, and my Aunt started when I gave her back a "Wish I Could Be Sick One Day for You" book she had bought my mom....it was such a nice but sad book and so fit the situation my mother was in. I think Brittany's started when we were talking about how Mom won't be there for her wedding...poor girl, November 1st is gonna me such a happy and sad day for her.

As sad as that all was there was also some fun had, good memories shared, old things remembered. My Aunt and us went through alot of Non and Pop's things and Britt and I kept some beautiful things to treasure. Some of the things I kept were one of my nonnie's nightgowns that she so loved, a hankerchief of my grandfather's, some of Pop's cologne, and a picture of Pop with this 20 dollar bill Nonnie and I found after he'd passed away that said "Doris, Love Lyle". All wonderful, memory evoking mementos that I will cherish always.

I still say though that cleaning is the devil's work!! And I will be so glad to get it done. Well I'm gonna go get to bed, it's late as I only have a few more days off work, then I get my cast off and my 5 week vacation is over (I couldn't work because I can't drive...I broke my right leg...you can't have my job if you can't drive because you have to be able to take the kids to the ER if there is an emergency). So goodnight all, and I'll work on keeping this site updated. Can't wait until May 8th.

Weight Watcher & Band Tightness

So far, I'm doing pretty good on Weight Watchers. I've lost 8 pounds. It would have been more but I had a BAD Super Bowl week. The meeting that week got cancelled and it threw me all off. Don't they realize we're food addicts!!! We need our meetings.

This week has also been real tough...I've been ridiculously hungry...or just ridiculously obsessed with food. I haven't been keeping good track of my points and I know I have to or I'll way over-eat. I need to stop getting those BK Tendergrill meals because they just don't leave enough points to satisfy me at work.

As for the band...it's feeling tighter lately. I've had 3 almost PB'ing experiences...just a bit of overactive mouth watering and chest pain and feeling like I had to puke but not actually bringing anything up. Very painful. The first was not chewed well enough pizza and the other 2 were from carrots...I need to be very careful how I chew lately...don't know why that is. Hope the band hasn't slipped...I can't wait to go back to NYC for a fill.

Well that's it for now...wish me luck that I can keep track of my points and avoid cookies!!!

~Raena

Strawberry Cake

So, my workplace is like the worst place for anyone trying to diet. I went in last night and on the kitchen counter was Strawberry Cake with Strawberry Frosting!!! Oh my God...add a glass of milk and I'd be in heaven, that's like my favorite kind of cake. So I thought to myself, what am I gonna do...that's way too many points!!! It's way too many points to even think about, it may be costing me points just to look at it!! So what I did was I took the cake and put it on the table in the dining room where you can't see it with the kitchen door open, got my cottage cheese and lean cuisine and ate my diner!! Go Me!
~Raena

Scales

So I've decided I'm a little obsessed with weighing myself. It's the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning, and then I do it numerous other times during the day. So I just called my sister and asked her to hide it when she gets home and only give me it on Saturdays before my meetings, so I can see how they correlate.

I feel so much better on Weight Watchers, I feel like I'm happier, more alert, just more everything. I feel like I'm making a positive change in my life and like my mother is watching over me and is SO proud of me. I feel no desire to cheat because I can have anything I want as long as I record it and account for it. I've not once so far eaten anything I haven't written down.

Today I woke up around lunch time. Let me explain that...I work midnights, so on my days off I tend to keep to that schedule a bit and stay up late and sleep in. I was up til 2:30 watching Zodiac (which was excellent) then I played on the computer, reading lap band blogs and playing a computer game until 4 am. I did, however, manage to sleep through Britt tell me she was going to P-Burg and through my alarm clock (which worries me, afraid I'll do it for work). Anyways, back to what I was gonna say. I got up and had 2 Turkey Sandwhiches for 3 points each, a 1/2 cup of Cottage Cheese for 3 points, 1/2 cup Blackberries and 1/2 cup of Cool Whip Free for 1 point and glass of Light Cranberry Juice for 1 point. 11 points for my lunch, with 29 left. I may have something again before work, or I'll just save them all for there because that's where I tend to graze.

So I'm gonna end this post with some music lyrics:

"Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cableAnd life's like an hourglass, glued to the tableNo one can find the rewind button, girl.So cradle your head in your handsAnd breathe... just breathe,Oh breathe, just breathe"

That's what I'm gonna do, just breathe, day in and and day out.

Sad and Happy News

Sadly, after 6 long months in the hospital my mother lost her fight with her disease and passed away January 1oth. I will miss her the rest of my life.

For Happy News, I have learned that you are not guaranteed a tomorrow so do today what you want to do, so I am recommited to my weight loss. I have not been being a good banded person, I've only had one fill, and ate terribly at the hospital....lots and lots of cookies. I was back at my highest weight. Let's just say I'm too embarrased to even go see my surgeon for a fill. So I've joined Weight Watchers to try and get my weight down about 30 - 40 pounds and then go see my surgeon. I had tried Weight Watchers online with no success, but now I'm actually going to meetings and I really like it. This was my second week and I've lost 8.8 pounds (It was 12 at my house, but I ate breakfast before weigh in, I won't do that again...I want to get a 10 pound sticker!!!) I did however earn a 5 pound sticker, and got a Bravo sticker for not having a regular soda in a week (from a 4 pepsi a night habit!). I really like getting stickers, I'm so the second grader I know.

I'm doing WW with 2 of my cousins, and my sister is going to eat better, and cook some WW meals. (However I think maybe if I keep up my good weight loss, maybe she jump on the meetings bandwagon, seeing as she's getting married in 9 months) If I was doing it with just my sister I'd maybe try and talk her out of it, and miss meetings, or quit, but I won't even try that with my cousins.

I think after I lose the weight and get some fills, I'll switch to the Core Plan, where you don't count points, but eat from a list of foods and just eat until you're full. So everyone please wish me good luck on this venture.


And mama, keep an eye on me and give me a cosmic kick in the arse if I fall off the wagon! I love you and miss you!