So Obviously....

I haven't been blogging here in a few days. As can be suspected this means I haven't been doing very well w/my diet. I've fallen off the wagon most days this last week. I'm back to eating at Spanky's and having ice cream and Snickers w/hot chocolate. UGH! When will this crap stop? I hate how it just gets into my head..."Oh you could go eat at Spanky's...that would be yummy & easy"! UGH! And then I just OBSESS about it & OBSESS about it until I give in. I hate this!
So in an attempt to circumvent this I've set myself a new goal...I want to lose 20 pounds in the next 6 weeks (the end of September) and then I will go do a zipline! YAY! My doctor is helping me in this attempt as when I told him this he told me he wants to see me back in 6 weeks to see how I've done.
I'm also thinking of joining a weight loss competition...it's a $25 cost to join. It's from August 29th until the day before Thanksgiving. You win the total proceeds. I've kicked ass doing this before & maybe I could again. It'll be a good goal/reward for me to work towards obtaining my goal of Onederland before the end of the year.
I wish there was a therapist I could see around here who specializes in food issues. That's the only problem of living in a small town...not much access to special services. Oh well, maybe a regular therapist can help. I had a band placed around my stomach not my head so I still have all the food issues I did before, the same food addiction, the same food obsessions.
Hoping to get better w/my diet & exercise (went for a walk today). Hoping to keep posting on here because it helps keep me honest even if no one reads it. I'm glad I've found some groups/people on FaceBook that are banded so it's a good support system.
Well signing off for tonight, hope all is well with the world.
~Raena

Day 2

Okay so Day Two didn't go much better than Day One. UGH!!! I hate how obsessed with food my brain is. I need to be careful from now on when I go to town. I have to make sure I'm not hungry, that I've just eaten, and that I will be there and back quickly. Otherwise it just starts to drone into my head that I could get ice cream or I could get Spanky's. And I just can't shut it up. I hate that. Well I guess tomorrow is always another day. Hopefully it will go better. I made the low carb PB cookies tonight, they were pretty good. Just enough sweetness to help. Well this is just gonna be a quick post as I'm really tired. More another day.
~Raena

Metabolism Miracle Take 3

So we were supposed to start MM yesterday but we weren't prepared at all. We had no groceries for it & let ourselves get too hungry before going shopping so we called a moratorium on it for the day. And then we figured if we were going out we were going out BIG!!! We had a carb party. Cheeseburgers & fries. Taco Dip. Cookies. I was a little disgusted with ourselves by the end of the night.
So we started today, went pretty well. Bee did better than me. I'd say I made it about 80%. I had a good breakfast & lunch but then I ended up finishing the last little bit of Taco Dip & then actually ended up making more. UGH! Bee's only discretion was when she went and hung out with friends & her friend was all "you have to have a cookie, I made them". So she had only one.
So Day One down, about 59 to go for Step One. Looking forward to have a turkey sandwhich wrap for lunch tomorrow...1/2 a low carb wrap, lettuce, turkey, mayo and tomato. Should be YUMMY! Well I need to get some sleep, it's been a busy day rearranging my room. So night all!!
~Raena

Utter Failure

So the whole 5 day pouch test thing was a complete failure. Let's hope tomorrow's venture goes better. I'm starting Metabolism Miracle again in the morning. I'm hoping to lose about 45 - 50 pounds by the end of the year...then I'll be able to say I lost nearly 100 pounds in a year. I really want to be in onederland before I start the next year. That would be amazing and something I never really thought would happen. Then again I never really thought I'd be closer in weight to the one hundreds than the three hundreds.

So plan:

• Start eating the low - carb Metabolism Miracle
• Friday morning free yoga in the park for the next month
• Gym after yoga for the next month
• A walk 3x a week or a workout DVD (some form of exercise)

Hopefully all goes according to plan. One thing I know is that I can't eat cheese and pepperoni the whole 8 weeks again...I'll puke! I need to pick up some cottage cheese first thing in the morning cause Bee and I are really craving it. Can't wait to cook some of the recipes in the MM cookbook. Would have been nice if I'd have had that the first time around. Well off to bed shortly I think. Night All!
~Raena

So even though it was at 6pm can I still call it Breakfast....

So yeah, did pretty good on the first day of the 5 day pouch test, failed about 1/2 way into my second day. I think I just wasn't prepared for it. Like you are supposed to drink as many protein drinks as you want to keep you satisfied & I didn't have anything for that. If I'd had had the Atkins Strawberry Protein Shakes it probably woulda been easier. Basically all I had was Jello, Pudding, and water mix ins. I had some cream of broccoli soup but boy is that gross!!!! I think I'll just count it as a blip and see how I do tomorrow. I'd really love to do it but I have to be better prepared.
Today was my first day of my garage sale. Trying to sell some of the hundreds of items of plus size clothing I have. Did already for a Friday. Tomorrow is the town wide sales so hopefully that will be an even better day. Hope so, would be nice to pay some bills & be able to get a couple new pieces of clothing. We will see I suppose.
Been doing my mood logs for my therapist, been going alright just so long as I remember to do them. Go to meet with her again in a week. Hopefully this time she'll have read my file first lol. Not her fault, she didn't know I'd already had an assessment. I really like her though, she's very nice.
Alright I'm gonna call it a night for now. Looking forward to grocery shopping on Monday to start Metabolism Miracle again. Imagine if I could lose another 50 in 4 months...before Christmas I'd be less than 200 pounds & will be able to say I lost 100 pounds in a year! Holy Hannah!!!!
Hope all is well with all,
~Raena

A little something new to try

I've been looking through Lap-Band blogs on here and I think I'm gonna try this out:

http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/days1_2.html

Basically it is to test and see how your band is. After being able to eat 4 pieces of pizza a couple times in the last week I wonder how my band is. But then I eat a 1/2 a piece of chicken & am stuck for hours! Weird, weird, weird. So I'm gonna try this and then going on to doing Metabolism Miracle w/my sister. Wish me luck!
~Raena

So today sucks

I know I've talked about this before, but I hate my medical clinic. I called at 8am, 12pm, and ended up going down there at 4pm. My knee is absolutely killing me, has been since Monday night. You think my doctor could call me & let me know that she received my call and wouldn't be able to do anything for me until "tomorrow morning at the earliest"? No, of course not. It's unreal, she's written me a prescription for meds for my knee before, what would be so hard about doing it this time?!?! UGH. If I don't start feeling better soon I'll go to the ER. Just been a crappy day. However, I put in an application for a Domestic Violence Agency, I hope, hope, hope I get that job, it would be the perfect job for me.
In other news, my sister and brother-in-law are moving back in in a few days and I've been trying to get ready for that. Of course the knee pain makes it nearly impossible. I really want to rearrange my room, gonna ice it for a bit and then hopefully that will help. Well I think that's gonna be it for now.
~Raena

Let's see if I can stick to it this time (Blogging and Weight Loss)

(In blue)Night before Surgery.
(In black)Minus 130 pounds!

So here I am again. Hoping this time I'll manage to stick both to blogging and to my weight loss efforts. I was stuck at minus 80 pounds forever, then this year I entered a weight loss competition with my family for a total of $400. Well let's just say, with the proper motivation, I kicked ass! I lost 50 pounds in 4 months. My competitors gave up after I lost 20 pounds in one month. I used the Metabolism Miracle, and boy is it a miracle. Difficult to do at first, very low carb, but worth it. Since the end of the contest I've been back up between 10 - 20 pounds. I lost my father and had a horrible break up at the same time and indulged in some comfort eating to say the least. My sister is moving in in a couple days and we're going on MM together so that should be good. Plus if I go back to school in the fall I'll have access to the school gym. We will see as I'm applying for my dream job, if I get it I may not be going back to school. Oh well, the job will be worth it. I think that's all for tonight. Keep ya posted!
~Raena